Matthew 18: Facebook or Forgive?

I read recently about a growing social media phenomenon: people going to Facebook and similar social media sites to air grievances with spouses, friends, co-workers.  It used to be that anger was something that had to be broadcast one poisonous whisper at a time.  But now we have the ability to broadcast our grievances to the entire world with a few quick strokes of the keyboard and a mouse click on post.  In the twenty first century there is a whole new meaning to airing your dirty laundry.

This "Facebooking" a fight runs counter to what Jesus counsels us in Matthew 18.  Where our culture says air your brothers sins, Jesus says work to keep them private.  In Matthew 18, Jesus says that when we are sinned against we should try to resolve the matter one on one.  After that, we may bring along another person, still keeping the matter as secret as possible.  Only in the end may the matter be brought to the congregation.  And even then the motive is clearly not to tattle or titillate but to restore.

It is the end goal that makes all the difference.  Today people run to Facebook to post the wrongs committed against them because they want to punish.  Their hope is to embarrass and humiliate so that they might get their pound of flesh.  Jesus says His followers are not to be motivated by revenge.  Instead they are to be motivated by restoration and forgiveness and correction.  The goal after all is to win the brother over.

Even Jesus' steps to restoration can be abused.  I have seen Christians follow the steps to peace that Jesus outlines here with the real goal of humiliating the one who offended them.  They want to list their brother or sister's sins before the church.  It is no accident that a passage on church discipline is followed by a passage about radical forgiveness.  It is a reminder of what Jesus really wants.  He wants us to love and forgive one another from the heart.

Has someone wronged you or hurt you?  Don't take your battle to the Internet.  Go to that person privately.  Explain why you feel wronged.  Listen honestly and humbly to their response.  And always be ready to forgive in the same radical way that God forgave you in Jesus.